3 Magic Words

7OM TIP OF THE WEEK: 3 Magic words...

"Drop the expectation, and you will inherit the Earth."
So say the Sages. 

We have all heard it a million times. Expect nothing, and you won't be disappointed. Have no expectations, that's the secret to a happy... marriage/ partnership/ relationship/ life/ bla bla la...

And like all these truisms, we often take them to mean something that is much more punitive in nature, and so we have taken it to mean that we have to scale back, become so neutral, so zen, that nothing fazes us ever again. And yet, when we tune into the frequency of this idea, there's a loneliness to it. A sadness. Like we have to essentially eradicate feeling or desire or anything bordering on an emotion or a preference in order to find wholeness and enlightenment and peace.

What if this wasn't the truth of the teaching at all? What if there was a fundamental different reason for it to begin with? And what if the very way you see and experience the world, and how supported you feel on a general basis, will also effect how you see and experience this very notion?

My close friend Donna Bond, transformational coach extraordinaire, taught me a phrase at a very particular moment in my life that has stuck with me throughout. It has guided my way so delightfully, and it has all of three words to it, but every time I hear it or say it to myself, it is like a heavenly balm that calms my very Soul. 

"Not This Way..."

Those three simple words changed much for me and is part of the glow of an authentically happy life.

When there were things that I really wanted, and when I was scared to go after them for fear of them not working out, she would remind me, with gentleness and kindness, that when we don't get what we want, we are not being punished, we have not failed, we are simply being told "Not This Way."

And you know the best thing about "Not This Way"? The very notion of it allows for the deeper knowing that there is in fact a Way; that there a hundred thousand percent is a Way, and we are just being shown that it isn't this one. And so, instead of all the ego's negative self-talk jumping into action and telling us why we are not good enough, why we have just failed, why we will never ever get our heart's desire etc, we instead get the reminder that we have a team working with us and for us, a team of light bearers and guides who can see a little more broadly than we can and who are helping set it up in just the right Way.

When we allow for this to be true, and it is true, sweet ones, it truly is, we can breath a sigh of relief when something doesn't seem to come together, and instead of chastising ourselves for having screwed up in some way, or blaming someone else for screwing up in some way, or becoming a victim and blaming someone or some thing for causing us pain or angst or any feelings of rejection, we get instead to wonder with curiosity, I wonder how this is going to work out better for me? 

And this is what it means to have no attachment or expectations. When we fundamentally know in our gut that we have non physical support (which we categorically do, when we allow ourselves to be open to it, and more importantly allow for the notion that we are worthy of it) then we can quite easily, and for the most part effortlessly, release the attachment to the specific details. We attach ourselves when we fear that we have no-one helping us, when we feel, wrongly, that we are doing this ourselves and that we have to muscle up and make things happen. The truth is we don't and you don't.

Allow for the fact that you have a team of supporters, in other dimensions of reality, and know that when it doesn't work out the way you hoped, that there is another Way being formed as we speak. Step back. Nurse any bruises, of course. But know, truly know, that you are not alone on this Journey, and as you do this, as you change this internal vantage point and allow yourselves to watch the unfolding of your life with a sense of wonder and curiosity rather than specific attachment to how specific parts of it should appear or look, just watch as the miracles continue and continue to unfold.

And I speak from experience when I say then you won't need someone like me to tell you that you have your own support team that loves you and cares for you and is supporting you, because the proof is in the pudding and you will know it with every ounce of your Being. As do I. 

Blessings on your Journey. 

With love, always,


nicola behrmanComment